Life is funny that way. You can be on top of the world and then all it takes is one phone call to send you crashing.


This week started out fantastic. Last week I'd contacted HIM's management to see if they might have some album news for the poor starved HIM fans that I could announce on my HIM Night show on Euro-Rock Radio. Was a long shot but never hurts to ask right? After all we ended up with Ville himself when I asked for Heartagram Day. Well turned out that yes they did and they quite liked the idea of giving me the news for an exclusive - oh and Ville wanted to call into the show and give the info himself, would that be okay?

Gee... let me think.

So Tuesday night, at my normal show time - which ends up being 3am in Helsinki, Finland - we have a ton of listeners tuned in (nearly 700) and at 8pm my time, 4am Helsinki time, I called up Ville once again. It was perhaps the best interview ever. Last time we talked Ville was very calm and cool and enjoyed things despite being ill. This time it was obvious he remembered exactly who I was and despite the time being 4am was joking and teasing and causing me to forget what I was going to say and laugh, which made him laugh, which made us giggling fools for the interview. We did actually manage to get the news out there though and on and off air Ville thanked me profusely for all the work I do and said 'hope to talk to you soon'. Numerous people have told me that it seemed like they were getting to listen in to two friends chatting. Always a good thing.

The week continued to get better after that. Ville and Seppo (HIM's manager) and Warner Bros. Records were wanting to see just how well the internet could work for them apparently because I was asked to keep them updated on feedback and how the news spread. Well within 24 hours it was all over the net - social networking sites, Live Journal, then Blabbermouth picked it up and things exploded. Found out that at least 3 Finnish magazines had it posted on their websites (checking to see if it made the print versions as well), some Japanese music sites had it, and according to the admin of the HIM forums she was making a list of links for The Powers That Be and stopped after 15 pages worth of hits in a google search. All of this originating from my little show.

So here I am on cloud nine and Thursday around lunch time I get a phone call from my dad. Papa, my stepmom's father, is in the hospital - and they don't think he'll make it through the day. Now let me say first that Papa has been ill for a long time. His wife died 3 years ago and he's gone down hill since then. For the past... well year at least maybe more he's had Parkinsons and we've had several times when we weren't sure he'd get better. Well on Wednesday they'd checked him into the hospital and it turned out he had Pneumonia. And the Parkinsons was making it hard for him to swallow.

So dad called Thursday, I dropped hubby and the kids back at home after lunch and raced to the hospital. When I got there my stepmom was there and one of her sisters (she's one of 10 kids, 6 girls 4 boys). Papa recognized me and asked how my kids were. He squeezed my hand and I kissed his forehead. For the next couple of hours he started going downhill fast. Very fast. My stepmom's family is Catholic and they'd already had a priest in for the Last Rites. All his daughters got there (many live out of town but everyone was trying to get in and the storms we had the night before had made some late) and his daughters and me stood around his bed. They did rosery prayers (I don't know how all that works not being Catholic myself) and we were just there when the trembling finally calmed down and he went to sleep... and then passed on.

I've never been there when someone died - always found out after the fact. I mean I've been there when I knew they weren't going to make it and said my goodbyes but not there when they actually died. It was peaceful for him, and that was good, and while we're all sad we're all also happy that he's not in pain anymore and is with his wife again. But it's hit me harder than I thought it would. I didn't see him often - mainly on holidays and at some family gatherings - but he was a wonderful man. Even though I was technically a step-grandchild I was never made to feel like anything other than blood. I remember dancing with him at weddings and winning a 'dance competition'. He was wonderful and loving and sharp witted and Irish to the core and so funny. And I will miss him terribly.

I'm probably going to miss the funeral as we're taking the kids to Disney World and fly out on Monday. But I was there and got to say my goodbyes and got to do it when he was coherent and with it enough to know I was there. I feel blessed for that.

Current Mood: sad